Stop Toddler Temper Tantrums In Their Tracks

Toddler temper tantrums can be frustrating and embarrassing for the parents if they happen in a public place. Tantrums can occur in all toddlers, even those who are well behaved. It can include simple whining, or it may include holding their breath, hitting and kicking, loud screams, and crying. Both girls and boys deal with them and they occur in toddlers between the ages of 1-3. There are some children that rarely have a tantrum, whereas others deal with them on a regular basis. Some kids are more likely to have tantrums than other children are.

Although they aren’t able to, toddlers want to master the world around them. Because they end up frustrated, toddler tantrums are often used as a method of venting the frustration they’re dealing with. There are quite a few things that commonly cause tantrums to occur. The child may be hungry, sick, tired, or they may just want attention. In many cases, toddlers become frustrated with the world and a tantrum often results. Frustration is going to occur in the lives of children as they learn more about how their body, objects, and other people happen to work.

During the second year of their lives, usually tantrums become quite common to toddlers. This is usually when kids are learning to speak. Often they understand a lot more than they are able to speak. As they are better able to communicate, usually the occurrence of tantrums goes down.

If there are objects that are off limits, keep them away from toddlers so struggles over them don’t occur. Work to keep your child distracted. They have a short attention span, so make use of this by starting a new activity or giving them another object instead of the one they want. It’s important to chose the battles you fight as well. When they want something, consider it. Is it something that is outrageous or not? If you can, be accommodating.

It’s also important that you make sure your toddler isn’t throwing a tantrum because they aren’t getting the attention they need from you. In the mind of a child, if they aren’t getting any attention, getting the negative attention is better than none at all.

To help reduce the frequency of toddler temper tantrums, it’s important to work to catch your toddler doing good things so you can reward them and praise them for their good behavior. Give them attention so they realize that good behavior makes you happy and they will continue to do this over and over to get positive attention.

Learn Effective Toddler Discipline

When you’re a parent, one of the toughest things you’ll have to do is to discipline your child. Of course, learning effective toddler discipline is important because it teaches them to keep themselves self disciplined as they grow older. Discipline also helps them to become a well adjusted and happy adult. In fact, if you want your child to feel secure and safe, then you need to have positive and effective discipline as a part of life.

The temperament of your child, their development, and their age should be taken into consideration when it comes to discipline for toddlers. The goals you should have when it comes to their discipline is to help them become responsible, to enable them to learn how to control themselves, and to keep them safe.

Toddlers and children of all ages should respect the authority of their parents. If you discipline them in a way that is unfair or too harsh, it will become more difficult for your child to trust and respect you.

It’s important that your discipline is consistent as well. If you aren’t consistent with your discipline, it will become confusing to them, no matter their age. When you are inconsistent with discipline in your home, it will be difficult for them to respect you. This also encourages them to act inappropriately and can frustrate and confuse them too.

Fairness is important when it comes to discipline for todders. The punishment you choose should fit the misdeed. It shouldn’t be too lax or too severe. The consequences that they have to deal with should in some way relate to the specific problem.

To keep toddlers from behaving badly, allow them to make choices in what they do. Kids like the ability to make some of their own decisions. Ensure that the rules that keep your child healthy and safe are the top rules. If your child is upset, tired, or irritable, then work to calm them down and understand them. In some cases, the circumstances can lead to bad behavior.

You can also work to encourage good behavior. This can be done by taking time out with your child on a regular basis. Make sure you hug and cuddle your toddler and give them plenty of praise. If they are sad or upset, work to understand them. You can also teach them how to behave appropriately by setting an example before them with your own behavior.

Dishing out just the right amount of toddler discipline can be a challenge, but if you take the time to work with your child and pay attention to how they react to your feedback, you will find that discipline doesn’t have to be harsh and will greatly benefit both you and your child.

How To Potty Train A Toddler

It´s great when your toddler shows you the signs that they are ready to start using the potty. The diapers are finished with and the underwear is on, but where on earth do you begin as far as potty training is concerned?

Learning how to potty train a toddler is easy… just follow these potty training tips:

First of all your toddler needs to know that using a potty is perfectly normal and that we all do it one way or another. Show your toddler how the potty works and explain that it can be found in the toilet in the same place where big kids and adults go. Allow your toddler to try the potty and have a go at flushing it on their own. There are numerous potty training videos on the market which are educational and as they feature some of the kid’s favorite characters, they are entertaining too. Make sure other members of the family are involved with the process and that consistency is emphasized as a matter or importance.

The wearing of new underwear itself is particularly significant to your toddler so allow them to go along with you when you go to the store and have their say in which items you purchase. However, you do need to be sensible about the style of the underwear you select. Avoid overalls, buttoned-up pants, snap or zip fastenings and clothing that’s too tight or too huge for the time being and concentrate on making the job a little easier for your toddler. Regular underwear, pull-ups and training pants are all great but whichever you decide to go with, make sure you are consistent. This way your your will not become confused and  you will not get frustrated with the process of learning how to potty train a toddler.

Uniformity also has to be taken into account when your toddler is away from home. For example, if your toddler is in daycare, make sure they know that potty training is imminent or already underway and check that the center or person taking care of your toddler doesn’t have any rules in place which may become an issue – it is important that you are both working on the same process when it comes to training for the potty. The procedure at daycare should be the same as at home.

During potty training, accidents may well happen. If they do, make sure you comfort your toddler and remain patient while they are learning. A little praise goes a long way, so every time a visit to the potty is successful, let your toddler know how well they have done. Do you intend to reward your child when he first starts using a potty? Why not! If a job is well done a reward is due but try to avoid giving him candy – there are so many other healthy treats you can give him instead.

Learning how to potty train a toddler takes a bit of time and a lot of patience on your part but with consistency, praise and encouragement it won’t be long before your toddler is fully potty trained. Hopefully these potty training tips will get you off to a great start.

Quick Ways To Stop Toddler Whining

How many times have you heard “Moooom!” today? How about yesterday, or the day before? Toddler whining is a fact in many households with young children.

It irritates you beyond belief. Whining is a frustrating and annoying problem and is often downright unacceptable. Nonetheless, it is actually the way in which your child manages to attract your attention and, let’s face it, it works. Toddler whining is similar to many other bad habits and it can easily be reduced as long as a few simple tactics are put into play at an early stage to show your child there are other, far more successful ways to communicate with you.

Be Aware Of What Trigger Toddler Whining

The first step to stop whining is to try to limit the trigger points of whining. For example, a children will whine if they think they are not receiving your full attention when talking, or if they are allowed to partake in a frustrating activity just before bedtime making them even more tired, or if they are hungry and you are busy doing something to feed them. Any time your toddler is able to get through these scenarios without whining and using good communication skills you should praise them for speaking to you in a grown up voice that you can understand. Praise, when something is done right, can be more effective than criticism.

When the toddler whining begins, keep calm, don’t overreact and quietly ask your toddler to repeat what they have said once again but this time in a normal tone.  We use the phrase, “Tell me that in your big girl voice”. There will, of course, be times when you have to give in – your child is hungry and you are busy preparing dinner, for instance. The challenge is to change your focus from what you are doing and ask yourself what your toddler wants. More often than not, they are hungry, tired or bored. At this point a healthy snack or a few minutes of attention will go a long way to stop the whining.

Consistency Is Essential To Stop Toddler Whining

When rules have been laid down, consistency on the part of both parents is essential. It’s no good one parent following it through when the whining boundaries have been crossed, and the other letting the child revert back to how things were previously. When you have an older child who has a tendency to whine, asking them to come up with a few ideas to relieve their boredom or solve the problem at hand usually works much better than you suggesting a solution.

There are, of course, occasions when whining happens because of life traumas. Problems at school, illness amongst family and friends and parents getting divorced are just some of the issues which may lead to a child whining. These situations can often be alleviated by paying your child a little extra attention or sharing some one-to-one or family quality time together.

Remember that the underlying cause of toddler whining often, if not always, frustration. Determining what is causing the frustration and working with your toddler to eliminate them will go a long way in getting rid of the dreadful, “Moooooooom!”

How To Stop Your Toddler Biting

During the development years, toddler biting is common and parents want to learn how to stop the biting – quickly. Toddlers who cannot tell you what they want or how they feel are prone to use more physical types of communication. Screaming, hair pulling, and hitting only bring nominal results. However, the child finds that biting brings someone immediately to his side. Hitting or biting can soon become their weapon of choice. The first bite is usually an accidental by product of play that got out of hand or too close contact with another child. However, it only takes once for a toddler to realize that he has he has a pretty good deal going on and strives to strengthen this new found skill.

The term “toddlers” usually refers to children who are between the ages of one and three. A great deal of development goes on during this time. Confrontational skills are extremely limited at this age. Teeth are the only instant, always available, attention grabber a toddler has to get his point across. The first time the child sinks his teeth into another child or adult, there is an instant reaction. Toddlers act in the moment. Everything that they experience becomes a new awareness for them. This is especially true of something as reactive as biting.

Regardless of the cause of this frustrating new trick, parents and daycare workers just want toddler biting to stop. From the victims point of view, the bite is not only painful but it can leave slight, under the skin scaring. Young children have very delicate sensitive skin. A very hard bite on the face can damage these tender muscles causing a long term imprint. The parent of the biter is also greatly affected. Not only is it frustrating that it is your child doing the damage but neither do you want to see your child ostracized from other children.

So how can you stop your toddler biting?

Research has shown the following  seven tips may be helpful. They are easily adapted for individual situations that may arise where biting could be a problem.

  • Keep your toddler positively engaged in age appropriate activities. This will help prevent childish frustrations and meltdowns.
  • Be aware of where your child is in spacial relationship to other children. Move the child away from direct contact with other children. Most children this age parallel play, which means they play beside each other rather than with each other. Placing a child too close to another one only invites confrontation.
  • Regardless of how careful you are, biting still may occur. If it does, take care of the victim first. This prevents immediate gratification on the part of the biter. It will also downplay any intended attention from the biter.
  • Reprimand calmly so the child does not pick up anxiety from you.
  • Be firm and say “don’t bite” as you set the child an arms length away from you or the victim. This can be done if the victim is the parent or or another child.
  • Expect change to come slowly. Like progress in other areas of development, it takes awhile to establish cause and affect. This skill develops slowly in small child.
  • Above all, praise your child often. He needs to know that your love is not contingent on his behavior.

As you can see toddler biting is a common problem that a lot of parents have to deal with. The tips I have outlined above will go a long way in helping you deal with this problem in a positive way.

Make Bedtime Easy With A Toddler Bedtime Routine

There are a lot of different tips and tricks available to help you with your toddlers bedtime that will help get them to sleep on time and sleep through the night. Family member and friends have probably offered many suggestions some of which you use. There are some important tips that you really pay attention to, in order to makes sure that you’re not fighting with your kids when it comes to bedtime.

Establish a Toddler Bedtime Routine

One of the most important tips is starting a routine as early as possible. This means that as soon as your baby starts sleeping longer and develops some sort of pattern, you need to establish a routine. The more you or your spouse, or both of you can be involved, the better. Set a time at night when it is time for sleep, and start getting them ready at least an hour before this time.

Limit their day time naps. One of the problems with getting a toddler to bed on time is that many people allow their kids to take too long of a nap during the day, and this makes them wide awake at night. Cut down their day naps to just an hour or less, and never let them nap too late in the afternoon. Even if they are groggy when the wake up, don’t let them oversleep.

Establish a routine before bed. There are many different ways you can do this. One of them is to give them a nice warm relaxing bath just before bed, massaging them gently around the neck and shoulders. The warm water will soothe them, and get their bodies to loosen up from the day. You can also read to them before bedtime, and it should be a book that is not too exciting, but will keep them engaged, rather than bored.

Don’t feed them too late in the evening. Toddlers need time to digest food just like adults. If you feed them too late, then they have to burn off this energy some how, and it is usually with wanting to stay up longer, fidgeting around, and being generally irritating – making your toddlers bedtime a much more difficult process. You can also play with them before you start their nightly routine, and this can do a lot to wear them out. Play mind stimulating games, things to test their eye hand coordination, because engaging their brains will not only keep them from boredom, but also cause them to get tired.

Try not to be upset before they go to bed. Toddlers sense a parents anxiety, and this can keep them from being relaxed as well. Start an evening routine yourself, like watching a little television, reading a book out loud with them and other things as a family. Doing things together as a family whenever possible will give your kids a stronger sense of security, and feeling safe is important.

One of the last but certainly not least important tips on improving your toddlers bedtime routine and getting your toddler to bed at a reasonable time is making sure they have a clean diaper and have used the bathroom before you put them to bed.

Toddler Timeout – A Timeout Can Be Win-Win

Yesterday I started talking about using a toddler timeout, well I actually started talking about tantrums but one thing led to another and I started on about timeouts, anyway,  I have a little more time now so I thought I’d go into them in a little more depth.

Sometimes your toddlers behavior gets a little out of hand. This can be tantrums, hitting, yelling… I’m sure you have a full list of items you could add.  As adults we can (or are supposed to be able to) maintain a level head and deal with problems as they arise without letting ourselves get out of control. Your toddler has to learn this skill as well and I find that using a toddler timeout gives me the vehicle necessary for this valuable life lesson.

I think we started using timeouts at about a year old. Some may argue that this is too young or too old, of course there is a counter argument for everything, but that is when we started and it’s worked like a charm.

Know When To Use A Toddler Timeout?

You can use a timeout anytime there is a situation that requires discipline.  A toddler timeout gets your toddler away from from the situation and allows them to have some much needed breathing room. A simple analogy (I will admit it is a poor one) is a fight in hockey… the two players fight and the fight continues until the referees pull them apart and put them in a timeout… well, the penalty box in this case.

These are some of the things that we will use a toddler timeout for: shouting, tantrums, not playing nice and not doing what they are told. The last, not doing what they are told, one mostly used on older toddlers and best left until they begin actively listening and doing. It is important to note here that although you can use a timeout for any behavior related problem, you cannot use it if the behavior is due to a medical condition. If you toddlers is crying because they have a new tooth coming in using this method will do absolutely nothing (nothing positive at any rate). Each situation has to be looked at on a case-by-case basis and determined if a timeout will be effective.

Another benefit of a toddler timeout is for you… it gives you a brief respite and lets your calm your nerves as well. This will will help you deal with the situation better and approach it with new energy. From my perspective this is win-win.

Toddler Timeout ABC’s

Now that we know why we would use a timeout, I’m going to tell you how we do them, how you do it may differ but this method has worked very well for us.

Remove the toddler from the situation, even if you have to physically pick them up while they kick and scream.

Place your toddler in the “timeout chair”. We usually use the same chair for this each time, but I have actually used a timeout in the mall, if you can believe that one. At home, we push the chair away from the table so there are no distractions… no toys, and if the TV is on turn it off.

Sit or kneel or crouch down to eye level. Towering over your toddlers is not going to help so you need to get down to their level. Keep calm and tell your toddler why they are going in to a timeout and how long it will be for. Start doing this from the very first time you begin using timeouts. Toddlers thrive on routine and this is not going to be any different. Set a timer that they can hear and let them know that when the timer sounds, the timeout is over but they have to wait for you to come and get them.

Once the timer sounds go to your toddler right away, don not delay… it is very important that your toddler doesn’t learn that when the timer sounds mommy or daddy might come. That could teach them that you don’t mean what your say and reduce your effectiveness… maybe, I am a parent not a psychologist but it seems reasonable that this may occur. The points is that when the timer sounds you have to go to your toddler.

Again sit, kneed or crouch down. Your toddler will listen to you more if you talk to them on their level. Imagine a 14 foot giant hovering over you telling you that you did something wrong? Eye level… it’s key. At this point ask your toddler if they know why they are in timeout. When they are younger they may not really be able to articulate it but as time passes they do start to associate behavior to results. If they can’t explain it to you let them know again (repetition is key here… we already let them know when we started the toddler timeout why they were going into it, telling them again is a key part to the process).

Finally, this is another part of that win-win strategy, tell them they can come out and give them a BIG HUG. Love is like food to toddlers and they need to know that you are not still mad at them and that life is just going to be fine.

You might find a toddler timeout difficult to do when you first start using them. Your toddler may start banging something, getting up from the chair or crying… anything to get your attention. This is normal and part of the process. Don’t coddle your toddler at this point. If they get up from the chair, put them back in it without talking to them. If they are crying, let them cry. I know it’s tough to do but if you coddle at this point you have lost all effectiveness.

Does Your Toddler Have Tantrums?

Last night our toddler had a temper tantrum, these are hard for me to deal with because I get caught up in it and frustrated. Frustration soon leads to me getting upset then I really have to work on keeping my voice down and remaining calm. Did you know that yelling will only make the problem worse? I’ve tried it, bad technique, does nothing to stop the temper tantrum.

The most effective strategy to quell a toddler temper tantrum starts with you… be calm and take deep breaths… relax. Our main source of toddler discipline is the use of timeouts (here is more information on stopping toddler tantrums).

Toddler Timeouts for Temper Tantrums

We use a 1 minute timeout for each year of the toddler.  So a 3 year old gets 3 minutes. I think there are a couple of important things with timeouts. First, they have to be sitting somewhere where they cannot touch anything. This isn’t time for play, it’s time to allow the toddler to calm down.  Giving them something fun to do will only set yourself up for more tantrums. Why? Because you are rewarding the toddlers behavior.

Second, set a timer. Let the toddler know that when the timer goes off the timeout is over but they have to wait until you come and get them. MAKE SURE YOU DO… this is a crucial bonding moment for you. I always crouch down to eye level (very important!) and ask if they know why they are in time out. I cannot emphasize the importance of this enough. Your toddler need to know why they have been put into time out or you have just wasted your time and theirs.

Once you are sure they know why they had to sit alone for a time out HUG THEM and tell the that you love them. The main thing a toddler wants is love and you have to make sure they feel it! (here is more detailed information on how to use a toddler timeout)

Is Your Toddlers Behavior Upsetting You?

If toddlers behavior is upsetting your don’t worry, a lot of parents are going through the same thing.  One of the things I find the most difficult is my own reactions to bad behavior. I’ll often get upset myself and then it’s a downward spiral from there.

I’ve learned to do a few things that can help control both my toddlers behavior as well as my own reaction to it and things have become a lot more smooth around the house.

In the next few days I’ll post some of the things I have learned so stay tuned. Remember, there is help out there and you are definitely not alone.