When you’re a parent, one of the toughest things you’ll have to do is to discipline your child. Of course, learning effective toddler discipline is important because it teaches them to keep themselves self disciplined as they grow older. Discipline also helps them to become a well adjusted and happy adult. In fact, if you want your child to feel secure and safe, then you need to have positive and effective discipline as a part of life.

The temperament of your child, their development, and their age should be taken into consideration when it comes to discipline for toddlers. The goals you should have when it comes to their discipline is to help them become responsible, to enable them to learn how to control themselves, and to keep them safe.

Toddlers and children of all ages should respect the authority of their parents. If you discipline them in a way that is unfair or too harsh, it will become more difficult for your child to trust and respect you.

It’s important that your discipline is consistent as well. If you aren’t consistent with your discipline, it will become confusing to them, no matter their age. When you are inconsistent with discipline in your home, it will be difficult for them to respect you. This also encourages them to act inappropriately and can frustrate and confuse them too.

Fairness is important when it comes to discipline for todders. The punishment you choose should fit the misdeed. It shouldn’t be too lax or too severe. The consequences that they have to deal with should in some way relate to the specific problem.

To keep toddlers from behaving badly, allow them to make choices in what they do. Kids like the ability to make some of their own decisions. Ensure that the rules that keep your child healthy and safe are the top rules. If your child is upset, tired, or irritable, then work to calm them down and understand them. In some cases, the circumstances can lead to bad behavior.

You can also work to encourage good behavior. This can be done by taking time out with your child on a regular basis. Make sure you hug and cuddle your toddler and give them plenty of praise. If they are sad or upset, work to understand them. You can also teach them how to behave appropriately by setting an example before them with your own behavior.

Dishing out just the right amount of toddler discipline can be a challenge, but if you take the time to work with your child and pay attention to how they react to your feedback, you will find that discipline doesn’t have to be harsh and will greatly benefit both you and your child.

Yesterday I started talking about using a toddler timeout, well I actually started talking about tantrums but one thing led to another and I started on about timeouts, anyway,  I have a little more time now so I thought I’d go into them in a little more depth.

Sometimes your toddlers behavior gets a little out of hand. This can be tantrums, hitting, yelling… I’m sure you have a full list of items you could add.  As adults we can (or are supposed to be able to) maintain a level head and deal with problems as they arise without letting ourselves get out of control. Your toddler has to learn this skill as well and I find that using a toddler timeout gives me the vehicle necessary for this valuable life lesson.

I think we started using timeouts at about a year old. Some may argue that this is too young or too old, of course there is a counter argument for everything, but that is when we started and it’s worked like a charm.

Know When To Use A Toddler Timeout?

You can use a timeout anytime there is a situation that requires discipline.  A toddler timeout gets your toddler away from from the situation and allows them to have some much needed breathing room. A simple analogy (I will admit it is a poor one) is a fight in hockey… the two players fight and the fight continues until the referees pull them apart and put them in a timeout… well, the penalty box in this case.

These are some of the things that we will use a toddler timeout for: shouting, tantrums, not playing nice and not doing what they are told. The last, not doing what they are told, one mostly used on older toddlers and best left until they begin actively listening and doing. It is important to note here that although you can use a timeout for any behavior related problem, you cannot use it if the behavior is due to a medical condition. If you toddlers is crying because they have a new tooth coming in using this method will do absolutely nothing (nothing positive at any rate). Each situation has to be looked at on a case-by-case basis and determined if a timeout will be effective.

Another benefit of a toddler timeout is for you… it gives you a brief respite and lets your calm your nerves as well. This will will help you deal with the situation better and approach it with new energy. From my perspective this is win-win.

Toddler Timeout ABC’s

Now that we know why we would use a timeout, I’m going to tell you how we do them, how you do it may differ but this method has worked very well for us.

Remove the toddler from the situation, even if you have to physically pick them up while they kick and scream.

Place your toddler in the “timeout chair”. We usually use the same chair for this each time, but I have actually used a timeout in the mall, if you can believe that one. At home, we push the chair away from the table so there are no distractions… no toys, and if the TV is on turn it off.

Sit or kneel or crouch down to eye level. Towering over your toddlers is not going to help so you need to get down to their level. Keep calm and tell your toddler why they are going in to a timeout and how long it will be for. Start doing this from the very first time you begin using timeouts. Toddlers thrive on routine and this is not going to be any different. Set a timer that they can hear and let them know that when the timer sounds, the timeout is over but they have to wait for you to come and get them.

Once the timer sounds go to your toddler right away, don not delay… it is very important that your toddler doesn’t learn that when the timer sounds mommy or daddy might come. That could teach them that you don’t mean what your say and reduce your effectiveness… maybe, I am a parent not a psychologist but it seems reasonable that this may occur. The points is that when the timer sounds you have to go to your toddler.

Again sit, kneed or crouch down. Your toddler will listen to you more if you talk to them on their level. Imagine a 14 foot giant hovering over you telling you that you did something wrong? Eye level… it’s key. At this point ask your toddler if they know why they are in timeout. When they are younger they may not really be able to articulate it but as time passes they do start to associate behavior to results. If they can’t explain it to you let them know again (repetition is key here… we already let them know when we started the toddler timeout why they were going into it, telling them again is a key part to the process).

Finally, this is another part of that win-win strategy, tell them they can come out and give them a BIG HUG. Love is like food to toddlers and they need to know that you are not still mad at them and that life is just going to be fine.

You might find a toddler timeout difficult to do when you first start using them. Your toddler may start banging something, getting up from the chair or crying… anything to get your attention. This is normal and part of the process. Don’t coddle your toddler at this point. If they get up from the chair, put them back in it without talking to them. If they are crying, let them cry. I know it’s tough to do but if you coddle at this point you have lost all effectiveness.